I can’t think of anything much I did this week that was very interesting, but Sandy and I have gotten some stuff out of here to various thrift stores and charities and sold some of our American Revolution reenactment stuff. This was the weekend of the Battle of Guilford Courthouse reenactment, and as it often happens, the second day was canceled because of weather. Sandy packed up a woven basket backpack and trooped out there yesterday afternoon hawking his wares, but everybody was taking down their camps at that point and getting on the road. He did sell a few items and then one person from in town came to our house this morning and bought some items.
I threw out a LOT of food and found some in the freezer that I would have eaten had it not gotten buried. I need to keep on top of this from now on. My anxiety tells me that I may need something one day. I need to tell my anxiety to relax and shut up.
It was too warm for the snow to stick this morning. I slept through it anyway. In my dreams I was back in classes, searching for the right art class for me. I also failed college algebra twice and finally passed it with a D. I shouted to a friend, “I never made a D in my life!” The funny thing was that I was rather proud of failing that class. It was like an opposite school anxiety dream.
We socialized this week. I went with a friend to Oden mid-week and had a couple of brews and food from a great taco truck. Then Sandy and I met some friends from way back at Potent Potables in Jamestown – I’m talking early 80s – and then ate seafood for the first time since the pandemic shutdown at our favorite oyster bar across the street.
I’ve been feeling very weird about all this back to the past stuff – “like a pigeon from hell” as the Pretenders put it. I was a very fucked up person at that time with substance abuse and undiagnosed mental illness, and I haven’t remained friends with hardly anyone from high school or college because of embarrassment. But friends from that time keep getting in touch so obviously it isn’t an issue for them. I keep reminding myself that if we are still alive and in touch, then we all have moved on and become better people. But the memories plague me.
Now I’m heading out for my monthly massage. When I get back, I’ll cook and probably watch some TV, since we just canceled Hulu and Peacock and substituted HBO Max and Paramount Plus for a while. I watched “Women Talking” the other night and was blown away. There are many good movies I have missed because of my difficulty in paying attention to videos. I’m looking forward to catching up on the Picard series and the whole Yellowstone thing as well.
Books: I finished “When Christ and His Saints Slept” and “Rules of Civility.” I shot through “Rules” like a bullet and then found “A Gentleman in Moscow” at the used bookstore. I also found “Here Be Dragons” by Sharon Penman, which is a Welsh saga and so I’m pretty happy about my reading future. Currently I am over halfway through “Lessons in Chemistry.” At first it was seriously upsetting me and I wondered if I was in the mood to read it right now. But the dog and the kid saved it for me and now that I’m past some of the most infuriating and sad parts I am enjoying it very much.
There are used tenor saxophones at the used book store that I am so tempted by but so far I have resisted. I used to play baritone sax in our high school jazz band. I wouldn’t even know how to play any more. We have a house full of unplayed, lonely musical instruments and I’m not inclined to add another. I’m not musically talented (believe me, I tried) and choices had to be made. I can’t do (or try) to do all the things I want to do. However, I have heard “Pick Up the Pieces” by the Average White Band in my head ever since I noticed the saxes for sale and my fingers itch. “Baker Street” was taunting me the other day.
Next weekend I’m heading to Asheville with my sister and a friend to see the tapestry exhibit at the Folk Art Center. There are lots of photos on the Tapestry Weavers South Facebook page.