agoraphobia, coffee pot posts

Saturday morning coffee pot post

Just barely getting it in before noon, because my racing thoughts kept me awake until 3:30 a.m. when I finally gave in and took a Xanax. I can also blame the book I’m reading, When Christ and His Saints Slept by Sharon Penman. It was very hard to put down, even though I know the outcome of my 30+G grandmother Maude’s war to claim her crown from Stephen in the 12th century. Part of the excitement of reading this book is coming across characters who I think I’ve seen somewhere in the family tree on familysearch.org and trying to track them down. Last night it was Miles Fitz Walter. I have so many asshole ancestors, and since they all married into (and battled) each other’s families, it’s a big well of oppressors to drink from. I’m not proud of them, but it’s fun to be able to know something about their lives, which is impossible to know about the middle class and immigrant generations in between other than what can be found in censuses and wills. The day I found Uhtred from “The Last Kingdom” on my tree was a big day!

My thoughts were racing last night because I’m ready to warp up my 16″ Big Sister Mirrix loom the correct way, with heddles and all!, and start another tapestry. I know, I said that I was giving up tapestry. That’s such BS. I say that at least once a year. My problem is that I can’t decide what to weave next. I spent a long time looking through my photos on the computer last night, and I downloaded and then uninstalled Gimp when I saw that it is WAY too complicated for me. I need to find that site where you can upload a photo or drawing and print it out to a larger size on standard copy paper, like a grid, that you put together. I’ve forgotten the name of it. I did come up with a design that I liked based on the background photo of this blog, spent an hour doing alterations to make it into a cartoon, and then lost it. That’s when I uninstalled Gimp.

Anyway, I know that I have some other photos that I took of reflections in the lake so I’m going to look for them this weekend, and actually draw a cartoon this time. I’d like to do something abstract.

I am trying to force myself out of the house so when I got an email from CVA asking for volunteers to gallery sit, I signed up for 2-5 this afternoon. There is a fiber art exhibit from six local artists at the arts center. I was going to take my Mirrix, but since I couldn’t decide on a size last night to prepare it for weaving, I’ll take my stitching.

I know that a lot of my local weaving friends who have been in the area for a long time think badly of CVA for the way they treated one of our own and got rid of a big weaving studio at a time when weaving and fiber arts were making a comeback. Believe me, I am very cognizant of that ugliness and I spoke up about it, and I still would love to know what exactly prompted that terrible decision since they would not discuss it at the time. But now they are lifting a new generation of fiber artists, and those artists had nothing to do with what CVA did to Sandra and the weaving program in Greensboro. I want to support these artists. I am conflicted about supporting CVA but I’m working on letting go of my grudges.

Plus, it’s better than vacuuming these cobwebs I see on the walls and windows of this room right now. That will have to be attended to. It’s been one of those intense work weeks and I’ve been lazy at home, other than cooking once or twice.

Anyway, since I slept so late I need to get in the shower and eat something and go. Yay me, fighting against my agoraphobia!

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