I know I am not the only one in distress. I have been grinding my teeth again and I have to take a Xanax to go to sleep at night.
Life right now in the U.S. feels like sitting in a hospital waiting room for hours to hear about a loved one in surgery. What is the chance of recovery? Are all our lives in this “family” going to change forever? I feel kind of numb. It felt familiar and I finally remembered when I had felt this way before. I don’t know how else to describe it. Sort of in shock, a bit of dread, but also hollowed out. I felt this way in the hospital waiting to hear about Sandy’s heart attack, Mama’s kidney infection, Daddy’s cancer.
Not panicked. Just…waiting. Waiting, thinking that surely the unthinkable will not happen, but knowing that it could.
I can’t not look tomorrow, or even today, even though I know from experience that the polls mean nothing.
Thirty minutes down the road from us, the police made international news for pepper spraying people in a permitted planned protest/walk to the polls event. Children were in the crowd. No one was violent except the police.
We will not be healed, not in my lifetime.