Back Forty, depression/anxiety, dyeing, fiber art, tapestry

Saturday morning coffee pot post

A quick post before I go to the farmers market and buy some of that delicious corn from Rudd Farm.

I’m working on moving away from the hole. I’ve been circling it for a while and I don’t want to change meds. A higher dose worked but it also made my heart race, and that upped my anxiety considerably. Now I’m considering therapy to help me cope. The fact that I am writing this post shows that I am moving forward. I’m still feeling OC as hell, but I have been functional. The main thing I need to avoid is getting agoraphobic again. That’s a nasty downward spin.

I registered for this online tapestry class: Fringeless, co-taught by Sarah Swett, who I have worshiped as my favorite artist forever, and Rebecca Mezoff, who has become THE online teacher of tapestry. As much as I have shied away from online classes in the past, this seems to be the year for it.

Speaking of which, the photo at the top is of the progress of my stitched piece I’m doing for India Flint’s “Gardens of the Heart” collaborative project. We were assigned a number when we signed up – mine is the third line of a three line poem. I won’t know what the first two lines will be. There are several hundred people worldwide doing this and India will put the lines together in the exhibit. There will probably be a website and a book, which is good since the exhibit will be in Australia. The cloth is actually very blue because I dipped it in indigo after I printed it with leaves. The silk/cotton thread was tied around dye bundles too.

My friend Susanne wasn’t around to stop me, so I volunteered to help with Tapestry Weavers South’s social media accounts. This really shouldn’t be a problem for me, though. I’m not doing it on my own, so if I spiral out, I hope that I won’t feel any guilt. I got so burned out doing Slow Food and Sierra Club and Friends of the Greensboro Farmers Curb Market and trying to revive the weaver’s guild here about 10-15 years ago that it is taking me a long time to recover. The Friends of the Market was the worst experience ever. That group is now defunct because it got closed down by lies and crazy accusations in the local right wing press. So sad, and so typical of our times.

So, Tapestry Weavers South is basically the only group that I am involved in now, and I love the members of TWS so much that it will truly be a labor of love. I belong to the local chapter of the Sierra Club and Slow Food Asheville too, but I’m not an active participant in those groups.

Okay, it’s getting late and it’s getting hot. Time to go to the farmer’s market. Teaser: I am working on a few blog posts about my favorite books. It will be fun. And in conclusion, the groundhogs are leaving my basil and foxglove seedlings alone, so this bed will be beautiful next spring.

6 thoughts on “Saturday morning coffee pot post”

  1. It’s such a difficult time in the world for anxiety and depression. I’ve struggled my whole life, too (I’m 55), and just when I thought maybe I’d left it behind forever, recent events have brought it all back. The last few weeks, I’ve been calling out sick at work at a rate that makes me worry that my agoraphobia is creeping back…which is going to make things terribly hard living in Chicago, which I hate to begin with! Especially during the summer when the place is just lousy with millions of tourists. You can barely get down the sidewalk. Anyway…keep looking forward to November. We gotta turn this ship around.

    (I’m the one who bought your “Waiting for More” print at a gallery in Greensboro. I miss the South a lot.)


    1. I am so glad to hear from you. I can’t say that I feel the same about the South, though! I think that it is important that we talk about our depression/anxiety/panic disorders, so thank you for sharing that. (You know, that is such an awesome blog name – you should totally run with it!)


      1. Well, I was born in D.C. and raised in Northern Virginia. Which, if you know anything about the area, isn’t really “the South,” even though it’s south of the Mason-Dixon Line. 🙂 But yeah, this administration is wrecking me. Never in my life would I have guessed that eventually my country would be such a cesspool that I’d spend at least ten minutes a week weeping. I hope you get to Ireland…keep trying. Wish I could meet you there.

        I think about writing a blog all the time, but I can’t decide on a theme. Seems like everything has been done ten times over.


  2. Personally, I think originality is overrated. I have seen some real shit come out of the MFA program here and I’m sure it’s because they are pushed to do something that hasn’t been done. When it comes down to it, it will bear the mark of your personality and your experiences. I stopped writing about local food because other people in the area were doing it better with fresh energy. Then I realized that I really stopped because I didn’t have anything more to say about food. It was a relief to get to a place where I wrote whatever I felt like, and I didn’t worry about satisfying my readers any more. That being said, it is still important to me to have interaction with readers. Otherwise I’d be back to writing in a private diary. If you ever begin blogging, please let me know. Don’t worry about a theme or whether it is boring or it’s crap, just start writing. And read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.

    Liked by 1 person

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