Back Forty, coffee pot posts, critters, depression/anxiety, More gardening, tapestry

I shared this post from the Bloggess on Facebook one year ago: I’m Not Quite Myself Right Now.

It is still the best description I have ever read about low-level depression such as mine. My depression and anxiety are controlled from wild swings by medication, but I need a stronger dose and I found that the cognitive and physical side effects of that dose are not worth it to me. I can experience joy and sadness and anger and fear at normal levels, though, and that is why I encourage people with chronic depression to give medication a try. Right now, I’m having a hard time. It is difficult to make myself do things that need to be done. I have xanax for panic attacks but haven’t needed it for a long time. I came close yesterday with two near panic attacks.

This weekend we will visit my sister at Lake Waccamaw and stay in my cousin’s house that I have blogged about for years. We have an excellent pet sitter who loves our cats and will hang out on the porch with them. I hope that the mayfly swarm will dissipate and let us spend some time outside and on the pier.

A couple of weeks ago, Susanne was marbling paper and I marbled a couple of pieces. I’d like to try marbling on fabric.

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I would have stayed to do more but I was itching to weave on my tapestry (which I haven’t done since!).

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It looks like I am not going to have a piece in the Tapestry Weavers South show. I was planning to put “98% Water” in but it probably won’t be back in time for me to change the mounting device on it and deliver it. The ATA Biennial ends tomorrow and the deadline for the TWS show is around 10 days from now. I don’t have another piece ready or available that I want to put in this show. I guess I could go fetch my work from the show at the United Congregational Church and send a smaller, older tapestry.

I’m almost finished with planting and weeding and fixing the border on the front yard garden. The south side will be sunny for a few more weeks, at least. I hope it will be sunny longer. I planted a globe artichoke, borage, Salem rosemary, foxgloves, French thyme, spearmint (in a place where I don’t mind it spreading), more hellebore seedlings that I got from my neighbors (these have purplish flowers). They may not make it but they have plenty more. I bought orange thyme and lemon thyme plants from Deep Roots today.

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Above: the before photo of the south end.

In the back I planted broccoli in one half-barrel and celery in another. I’ll wait until early May to plant the stuff that likes more heat.

There is still much to do, but we have gotten a good start on cleaning up the back forty.

The cats are in love with the front porch, but it is aggravating Theo’s allergies, so I may have to limit his time out there or take him to the vet for another shot. Right now I give him loratidine every night. His new name shall be “Snufflebutt.” Diego is “Chunkybutt.” Pablocito is “Wigglebutt.”

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Diego has become a swinger.

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Pablocito does his impression of Hello Kitty for passerby.

Okay, I have to go home and do some cleaning. It finally reached a intolerable level while we were concentrating on the outside and hanging out on the porch.

4 thoughts on “”

  1. Followed the link to the description of your depression… it was really moving and imagined in a way I’d never heard before. I hope the gardening and the fact you are working on some of your creative projects are helping you ‘re-inhabit’ some of those rooms… BTW, there’s scarcely anyone I know who isn’t completely undone in some way or other by politics and the current WH. I know this sort of ‘undoing’ is not what you deal with year in and year out, but I can’t help but wonder on the negative impact of it all to your ongoing struggle.

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    1. The gardening is helping a lot. Politics is a major factor, but I’ve dealt with depression for a very long time. There was some personal stuff going on too that is hopefully over with. I still suddenly remember that Twitler is President sometimes and my body literally jerks and I think or say NO!!! This cannot be true. Yet it is, and I have to deal with it. I’m starting to prep for emergencies, something I’ve meant to do for a long time.

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    1. Jude, I wish I could make myself do more weaving right now. It is meditation. The key is to start. But I am so distracted and my mental and physical energy is low. However, I tend to go through cycles and I assume that this one will go on the upswing soon, after I get my spring gardening done.

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