This week has been a little weird. Getting back to work the first week of spring semester is always a bit of a downer because it is an uphill slog for a couple of months. I know that at the end of the semester I will have a very light workload for a couple of months so at least I have that to look forward to.

It is also very good that it is work that I enjoy, despite the general morale problems at our university.

I am trying to pay closer attention to my diet since my cholesterol is much higher than it should be and I don’t want to have to take statins. Also trying harder to cut down on sugar, which should be easier now that the holidays are over.

My weight this morning with no clothes was 185. Ideally I’d like to get down to 155, the top of the healthy range for my height, but then none of these fabulous clothes that I bought for my new style will fit, and I am what they call a “big-boned gal” so I would love to get to 175 or 165. The main thing is to get my cholestrol down. If I can’t get rid of my double chin and cellulite then I don’t really care about the rest of it.

I spent a few years growing up with my grandmother living with us and she died of heart disease and diabetes. That worries me because I feel like I take after her more than anyone in the family, and I watched her get weaker daily. I was with her when she lost consciousness and had an afterlife experience. It was very positive and she was not so fearful of dying after that.

My father died of colon cancer which migrated to his kidneys and liver when he was 64. I’m on top of that, having had two clean colonoscopies starting at age 40.

The heart stuff worries me, though, partly because I have a history of panic attacks (as she did) and they mimic heart attacks. I always worry that I will die of a heart attack because I have mistaken it for a panic attack.

Anyway, food has been on my mind a lot. I am not an enthusiastic cook anymore although it is better now that I have a working dishwasher and a nicer kitchen to work in. I would rather be making art, for sure.

I ran into Susan on Friday and she offered me three 4 x 8 plots in the UNCG community garden so that is exciting. I will be thinking differently about my gardening this year with that much sunny space and few skeeters and critters to wreck it.

Today will be fun because I’m getting close to the end of reorganizing and purging the studio, and the guild is meeting at 2 pm at Scuppernong Books this afternoon.