Because I’m out of coffee and I need caffeine just to get out the door.
On a morning like this, having awakened to still more terrible news in the world, it’s important that I stay positive about my corner of the world and what I can do to make it better. In the past several years, a big part of that has been the Greensboro Farmers’ Curb Market. Doing my weekly food shopping there first has been a huge pleasure for me and actually was one of the big factors in healing my agoraphobia. So I could always count on the Market to make me feel safer and better about the world. I would come back to this computer with my goodies and crow on this blog about the wonderfulness of it all.
Heavy sigh.
Now, even though I try very hard not to let the actions of bullies to make any difference in my actions, I have to work up an enormous amount of energy to counteract all the bad feelings I will face when I go. I’ve been sick and out of town a lot during the past month, so it has been weeks since I’ve done what used to be a highlight of my week. I waver between pushing past the dread and going anyway to shop from my favorite farmers and cooks and bakers and soapmakers, or just saying the hell with it and shopping at the other market off I-40.
That would be letting the bullies win, right? So I guess I’m going to the curb market after I finish this tea. There is a local roaster there who sells light and medium roast coffee beans, which I love. And Zaytoon, who sells the most delicious dips and spreads and flatbreads and desserts. I’d like some ground beef from local grassfed cattle, and pork from humanely-raised pastured pigs. Fresh hydroponic salad greens.
There are a few vendors that I used to routinely buy from that will never get my business again. But, for the most part, the market is filled with good, honest people, and I’m going to try to focus on them.
Yep, I’m going. But I doubt I’ll be effusively singing praises afterwards any more. That’s what happens when you do nice things for people and get abused for it. You don’t feel very enthusiastic about your endorsements.
Sandy came down with the flu this week, even though he had his flu shot. This flu was really contagious and spread like wildfire whether you were vaccinated or not, so that made me feel better about my decision not to get a flu shot. I ended up staying out of work Monday and Tuesday, and have been really scrambling to get caught up on my work.
Went to PT on Thursday and was told that if I didn’t find a way to make this tendinitis better (i.e. wear my brace all the time and rest my hand as much as possible) that I am probably looking at surgery. I have nodules on the tendon that are getting worse. I see the doctor on Tuesday.
So this weekend, I am bookbinding as much as I can, with my brace on. I bound three books last night, and hope to get several more finished before the end of Sunday. This is activity that I love, that is healing my bruised spirit. I just have to be smart about it. Photos later.
slowly she turned 