This wonderful week in which I have been ensconced at home with a white snowscape outside and the smoky smell of the woodstove within shows me how quickly I could fall back into agoraphobia. I am so comfortable and happy here in my home that the thought of leaving it today to go to the farmers’ market, to buy pet food, and to go to a lovely party with the newly named Greensboro Fiber Guild makes me recoil and procrastinate. It is an easy trap to fall into if you are prone to this disorder, and it is behavioral in nature, so the only cure is to force your self past yourself to the way out. So I will.
“Ensconced” seems to have been my word of 2010. What will be the word of 2011?
Miss Jazz is sitting contentedly on my lap. She seems to be so much better and happier. It was worth the money to pull her through this thing and give her a little longer in this life. She is a tough little kitty, that is for sure.
Yesterday the HVAC people came to clean my furnace. They ended up staying over two hours because they couldn’t get the pilot light to relight when they were done. Finally, after replacing a part and getting it going, I got some bad news. The furnace needs some expensive repairs over the next year if we are to keep it. One part could cause carbon monoxide poisoning if it cracks or gets a hole and it is very rusty and thin. We have a carbon monoxide detector and Sandy is going to buy a new one today. The estimate for replacing the furnace and the equally old and wonky central air conditioner is around $7000. We have also talked about the need to replace our crappy ductwork and that estimate doesn’t include that.
Sigh. In the same 24 hours I received the schedule for the Focus on Book Arts conference in Oregon in June. It is very inexpensive as those kind of things go – the prices per class are less than $100 a day and the room and board is only $65 a day to stay in a dorm apartment and eat at the university cafeteria. The airfare is much more expensive in June. It would end up costing me a little over $1000 to go to all four days of the conference and fly round trip. I had planned to stay an extra couple of days to see Portland, since I’ve never been there. Now the money is making me nervous. I don’t like being in debt. But I will pretty definitely go to the conference, at least. My friend Judy from Montana is sharing the apartment with me. We met at Journalfest in 2009 and immediately hit it off. I want to go very badly.
Because of this, I canceled my registration for Art and Soul in Hampton at the end of April. I realize that I can’t do everything that I want to do. I feel like a screaming three-year-old sometimes, though!
We did receive some more good news. Sandy’s biopsy from his colonoscopy was benign. The nurse from the endoscopy center said that it was the kind of polyp that could have very well turned into cancer if they had not caught it and removed it. So get your colonoscopies, people. I’ve seen colon cancer. You don’t want it and you don’t want your family and friends to suffer along with you.
Now that those words are out of my brain, I’ll be on my way to do my errands. Later this afternoon I plan to begin working on a prayer flag that will be sent ahead of me to An Artful Journey. It will have a base of the onionskin dyed fabric. What wish for the world do I want to send fluttering out on a breeze? What wish do you want sent to the world, or yourself?