After the post on Saturday about joining an art co-op, which now I admit contained quite a bit of forced optimism, I pretty much fell in a stress hole. And you know one of my favorite Molly Ivinsisms is the First Rule of Holes: When you find yourself in one, stop digging. Instead I was trying to operate under the Power of Positive Thinking, which is all well and good when you’ve actually thought something through past the point of “I want it now!”

For the rest of the weekend, I was anxious and miserable. I was impatient to hear from them and stared at the phone and checked my email repeatedly. I was trying to decide what to make for the gallery, in case I was accepted, instead of deciding what I wanted to do next.

This is why I do not often sell my work. I get completely knotted up in what I think that other people want me to do, whether that is the case or not. And it SHUTS ME DOWN.

Finally on Sunday night, I took some quiet time to deconstruct my feelings and realized that I would be miserable with either a YES, NO, or MAYBE answer.

So I’m going to go pick up my stuff at Artmongerz and tell them that it’s not them, it’s me. It was a good idea, but not the right one for me at this time.

I feel much better now.

Two good things came out of this – I learned how their co-op worked, and I was motivated to get a couple of paintings framed that had been laying around for years. Now can I get motivated to hang them on the wall?