Dear God,

I am writing to ask if I have done something to offend you. I have been sweating for three weeks now. The first week, I thought it was the medication. The second week, I was in Alaska walking around in shorts and sandals on a very cold ship deck looking at icebergs, wishing that I could get on one. Now I have returned to North Carolina, where it is a lovely 79 degrees, I am off my meds (something else we should discuss at a later time), and sitting in front of an air conditioning vent soaked in sweat.

Since you made me in your likeness, I figure that we can come to some kind of agreement on this issue. What is it that you want? Let’s talk.

Laurie

P.S. Thanks for the butterbeans!