I spent a good few hours in the studio tonight, so I feel like I’m back on track. Especially because I began my artist’s journal - FINALLY. This is a smallish spiral-bound handbook that came from work and is now out-of-date, so instead of sending it to the landfill (I try not to say “throw away” anymore), I’m reusing it as a journal. I paint over the pages with gesso as I go. Because it is nothing special, I’m not tempted to hang on to it for that “perfect” time to use it. And I’m not showing it to anybody, so I’m free to screw up and experiment all I want without fear. In fact, I’m going to TRY to screw up.

Because I’ve discovered something - artist’s block is fear, plain and simple. And there’s one more thing - you’re an artist too. That’s right, YOU. You may have had the desire or the courage for art criticized out of you, but you could make art. You really could. And here’s the last thing that I’ll say on the subject today - don’t limit art. That’s how you kill it. I believe that gardening and painting and cooking and weaving and decorating and ceramics and dancing and knitting and music and raising children and writing is art. As well as anything else that requires you to put some of your soul into it.

I also wove about a foot on the fabulously ugly scarf III, but I found that my upper back hurt after about 10 minutes of weaving. So it was fortunate that I’ve got so many projects and ideas in motion. This was part of my strategy. Since I tend to have a lot of little aches and pains, if one thing bothers me, I can switch off to another.

Also this week, other than carving stamps, I finished backing and photographing the ATCs. I took a heavy watercolor sketchpad that I wasn’t using and made signatures for a 48 page book, cutting the heavy cardboard back in two pieces to use for covers. When I showed it to my co-worker who is getting married in August, musing over what I might make out of it, she said that she needed a guest book. So I’ll do a test run on this one, since it’s my first book not made from a kit, and then I’ll take her to a local art supply store that has some wonderful handmade papers and I’ll make her a nice wedding present. I’m thrilled about this. It’s good to have a focus. For me, anyway!

The only real problem that I’m having at the moment with my art is that I’m fantasizing a little too much about if only I could attend this school or make art full time or go to this retreat or conference. I’m much happier in the present moment, but not having much to do at work right time is a blessing and a curse sometimes.

Oh yeah - there will be much of this kind of talk this summer. Apparently I can’t cook and do housework and garden and do art at the same time. So the cooking and housework obviously have to go.

Through the incredible generosity of Ricë Freeman-Zachery, I am now the owner of all these stamps. Wow. What a kickstart to my new venture in book arts.

My first carved alphabet stamps. I’m filling in the missing stamps from the vintage collection Ricë gave me.

Do you see why I’m totally in love with this woman now? She has become my new mentor. I’ve been learning from her blog and her YouTube videos. And she’s funky and cool and unabashedly human and funny as hell.

I was thinking about my problems with finding a new mentor and teacher, and while I certainly don’t believe that the universe caused harm to John and Suzanne in order to steer me in the right direction, sometimes it seems that when you’re frustrated and impatient that you’re blocked, maybe you just need to chill out and wait. That somebody or something to rev you up may be a minute away. Maybe if I had gone to Italy, I wouldn’t have headed in this direction. Who knows?

Maybe I am destined to go to Italy another time, with another teacher. God knows some interesting coincidences have come to my attention in that area. Such as a pamphlet given to me in an art quilt class at Art & Soul offering classes in journaling and collage and such, which happened to be about an Italy tourism business run by the same couple who have been sending me emails about Slow Food related trips. Well, I didn’t know that the teacher of the class I was taking was going to be teaching in Orvieto next year with these folks.

So today, since it’s good for me to always have some exciting art venture to look forward to, I registered for a week-long class with Daniel Essig at John C. Campbell Folk School to make wooden books. I justify it this way - I don’t have to stinking justify it, man. It’s the way it is. I am an artist, and this is energy coming in. Last fall, a professor counseled me that all my energy was going out, and I needed to find the way to let it in. Or something like that. It was not being replenished, and I was deflating. I really think that she was right.

I thought that I might share a little about my creative process in doing the mini tapestries. It’s so simple that it won’t take long. Reading Living the Creative Life and The Artist’s Way made me think about this, and I figure that it’s worth sharing.

This is my current workspace in the Happy Room, on the futon that serves as a guest bed. Isn’t it a mess? But it’s really working for me, like I have a pallette of yarn.

I found that the trick to keeping my creative energy going is to always have a little cardboard loom ready. It takes about five minutes tops to warp a piece of cardboard, which I prepare by snipping slits top and bottom 4 or 5 slits to an inch. You can’t really get a lot of detail with this method, but the simplicity and limit is part of the charm for me. For more detailed designs, I use a pin loom, where I can get 8 ends per inch.

I could draw a design on the cardboard, but what I do with the mini-tapestries is that I begin with a blank cardboard piece, pick up a color, and begin. It helps a lot to have an idea prompt. I have a theme right now of “By the Sea.” As I needleweave the yarn into the warp, an idea will begin to develop. If it doesn’t, I do a solid block of color. I figure that I can embellish the solid blocks with beads, shells, embroidery, or needle-felting later, so it’s definitely not a waste of time. The point is, I don’t wait for an idea. I just start weaving.

If I’m not totally thrilled with it, it’s okay. I’ve only put a couple of hours into it at the most, and now that I’m interested in assemblage and collage, I figure that I’ll find a way to work with it later. In the meantime, I’m free to play, which is not something that usually happens with weavers. And playing was something that I struggled with so much that I even made “learning to play” a project for my “Creating Peace” class only last fall.

If I get an idea for a more complicated idea, I’ll work that out later with a cartoon (design for a tapestry). I should make notes, but I have to work on that. It’s usually hard for me to stop weaving and start writing notes! I had a dream last night with an idea for a weaving that I awoke from and said to myself that I should write it down. Of course, the part of me that wanted to go back to sleep convinced me that I would remember this great idea in the morning. Of course, I have not remembered the details as of yet. I’ve had a lot of these dreams and they’re wonderful in their details, but by the time I get to the coffee, they’re a fuzzy warm pleasant feeling. So I need to work on my methods for recording ideas.

Here’s a photo of the back of one of the tapestries. I designed these “signatures” in Word and copied eight to a standard 8.5 x 11 page, leaving a bit of space where I can attach a pin if needed, and then I used Ricë’s technique for printing them on a piece of muslin. I left the freezer paper on the back and cut them apart.

Then I made hemmed backs of a watercolory-looking blue fabric to fit the back of each tapestry (using fusible webbing), fused those directly to the back of the tapestries, then peeled away one of my muslin signatures and fused that on top of the blue fabric.

Here’s the (un-) funny thing - I decided to use fusible webbing for many of my sewing tasks to save my hands some stress and because I am such a klutz that I stab myself with needles and pins all the time. Well, here’s this fabulous alternative, right? I bought a little craft mini-iron that has a long rod handle and a little flat iron tip that I could use for little areas and corners where I might need more precision. So what was the first thing I did with my fabulous new tool yesterday? I mindlessly grabbed it in the wrong place and burned the hell out of my right index fingertip. If I don’t learn anything else from this hobby, I will learn mindfulness, the hard way if necessary.

I am totally overwhelmed with the books I’ve bought in the last few weeks. It’s like a book fiend has taken over my body. Yesterday Sandy and I did a big purge of books to take to Ed McKay’s today, so I could get my new stacks of books off the floor and onto shelves.

Some of these new stacks are of old books. For example, when I visited Mama a few weeks ago, I snagged the 1952 set of World Book encyclopedias, which I’m sure made me the geography trivia whiz that I am today. If today was in 1952. I always had my nose in these encyclopedias, and they meant nothing to anyone but me.

I also brought back my much beloved copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, spine well creased from obsessive re-reading, and a copy of Treasure Island, which I never read but I found a piece of paper in it where I had made as many words as I could out of the words Treasure Island. I made up a lot of word games as a child out of these books and encyclopedias. I found my old stamp collection and a list I had made of “My Library,” which included such diversity as Huckleberry Finn, Flip Wilson Close-up, Steppenwolf, How to Write Codes and Send Secret Messages, and Gardening Indoors Under Lights. I doubt that I actually read Steppenwolf, but I may have given it a try. The librarians on the county bookmobile had a very hard time keeping up with me - I’d have finished my stack of books they picked out for me long before they came back in two weeks.

There was a real treasure trove of old books in the free section of Ed McKay’s for a few weeks. I’ve picked up a lot of old school books and other interesting books from the turn of the century up through the fifties. I have enough novels from the free section to last me two years. And, believe it or not, I had been hitting the library on a regular basis, but I’m going to give it a rest until I read some of what I have at home. I started reading Wendell Berry’s novels from the beginning, and that felt like going back in time to talk to relatives long gone.

Yesterday, Sandy and I went to Empire Books, where I never made it past the cookbook and arts and crafts section. Sandy found a perfect copy of my favorite artist Andy Goldsworthy’s Time for $18. I picked up a $4 copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking, three wonderful craft books: Art Stamping Workshop, Beaded Crazy Quilting, and Paper into Pots, and a 1950 half autobiography/half cookbook called Love and Dishes, by Niccolo de Quattrociocchi, an Italian restauranteur in New York City. It has recipes from all the famous NYC restaurants of the time. I’m really looking forward to digging into this one.

It is a good thing that I don’t live closer to Empire Books. I might go broke. I really, really need new clothes but I spend all my money on books, art supplies, and good food. My priorities are pretty good but I might need to get a little more practical.

So, what started this post was a question from Moomin Light: What creativity books have I been reading? I mentioned Living the Creative Life, by Ricë Freeman-Zachery. I’m also reading her book Stamp Artistry.

I was already into The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, which I like but I’m going to wait until summer if I do the lessons.

Danny Gregory’s The Creative License is so incredible that I nearly have a panic attack each time I open it, but it’s next. I read his Everyday Matters last year, and I’m a lurker in the Everyday Matters Yahoo group.

In addition, I’m feeding my inner child and dreamer with Dan Price’s illustrated journal Radical Simplicity: Creating an Authentic Life. Because I spent a good part of my childhood winters building hide-outs and lean-tos and treehouses to read my books in.

I have Amazon links to these books in my pretend bookstore, if you’re interested in learning more or buying them. I’ll update it with my newest books later today.

Yes, I’ve been a book hound since I graduated. It is delicious.