I find it interesting that every papermaking session is different. I thought that the iris/abaca pulp would be almost just like the corn shuck/abaca pulp. But I ended up doing everything backwards from the beginning.

I thawed out half of the frozen pulp in the vat, so I decided to add water to it instead of the other way around. It was much too thin and I added another quarter of the pulp.

I got a few sheets that were thick enough for my liking, but the pulp ran out before I got very many. So I took a break, in which I began cooking the corn shucks.

When I returned to the vat, the solid pulp had settled to the bottom and there was about four inches of water on top. So I scooped out two gallons of water, and that made the pulp thick enough that I could get a few more sheets. The last two were hopelessly thin so I played with embedding a feather and some leaves between layers of thin pulp. I worked that pulp to the maximum!

Also, my cheap mould and deckle was frustrating. The screen is not attached and it shifted and wrinkled when I dipped it. Finally I tried dipping the mould in the opposite direction than I normally do it, and the screen stayed in place.

So the whole thing was kind of backwards, but I hope to get a couple of dozen thin sheets out of it anyway. I learned a lot for the next session. One thing that I learned is that I’m going to buy a good mould and deckle from Carraige House Paper, because the last mid-range m&d I bought from an unknown source was unusable.

Working in the dining room/kitchen did work out well, except that it was a bit awkward couching the sheets on the counter, but that can be remedied by bringing my folding table in from the studio. At least I have more room to move around, which is nice. Having a water source in the room was very convenient.

Maybe it helped to get those complaints out of my system, or maybe it helped that I spent the late afternoon with good friends, or maybe it helped that Sandy and I had a delicious meal at Fishbones, now a weekly event. At any rate, I feel much better.

My iris leaf and abaca pulp has thawed out, so I’ll spend the morning making paper and cooking corn shucks with soda ash to prepare them for making into paper pulp. Once I finish my coffee and the cats hunker down for their post-breakfast snooze, I’m going to try this in the dining room with cardboard on the floor to protect the floor and cushion my back.

I decided that part of my problem was that my studio has too many distractions and it was making me overwhelmed. So I cleaned the clutter that had been collecting on the dining room table for at least a couple of months (and in doing so, found a wedding invitation near the bottom that I’ll be sorry to miss), and brought in just enough from the studio to prepare signatures and bind books. That helped a little, but I still have monkey mind so maybe once I cook the corn shucks and make paper I’ll be able to focus better.

Laura came to my house for the first time, so I enjoyed the appreciation that she showed for my work, past and present, and her general presence, which is gentle and intelligent. She brought me a nice eggplant, which I’ll make either into parmesan or lasagna this week. I love eggplant and I have problems growing it. Anyway, she had a question about paper casting so I took her over to Susanne and John’s house, where John, a sculptor, gave her some ideas, and we hung out talking to Susanne, who was distributing type. The three of us have a lot in common so it was a good, relaxing time, and I think that we’ll probably repeat it.

Susanne and John gave me a drymount press to dry paper evenly and smoothly with heat. I don’t know exactly how it works yet but Susanne is going to help me set it up and show me how.

I found a couple of books at Ed McKay’s on Thursday night that will be sure to bring me much inspiration: al-pha-bet-i-ca, by Lynne Perrella, and 1000 Artist Journal Pages, compiled by Dawn Sokol. These were two that I’ve been tempted to buy online for quite some time, but I found them at less than half-price with no tax or shipping at Ed McKay’s. I feel good about actually buying something from them now and then because I take so much free stuff, but when I’ve mentioned it they say that other people take a whole lot more than I do.

The only bad thing about one of the books is that it smells a little like stale smoke. I never noticed that until I had stopped smoking for a couple of years. What a shame, because I love the smell of books. I saw a tip somewhere that putting a book that smells like smoke in the freezer will help remove the smell. I don’t know how long, because I tried it for a few days with one book and the smell came back. Maybe I need a freezer as a library for these kind of books!

The novel that I am reading is American Gods by Neil Gaiman. At first I didn’t like it so much. I’m not a Stephen King fan because I don’t like being reminded constantly of body fluids and decay and nastiness, and there was a lot of that. But now I’m rather fascinated with it. The plot line is unusual and makes you think. I can say that I’ve really never read a book remotely like it.

Okay, coffee is gone, cats are asleep. Time to get crackin’.

Actually, I made another little pot. I used to drink coffee all day long every day, which finally had to stop due to the fact that caffeine, in large quantities, turns out to be not so good for you. Otherwise I’d have a 24-cup coffeemaker instead of a 4-cup coffeemaker.

Gave up trying to post every day lately. I still think that it’s a fine idea, but my thoughts have been rather bleak the last few days. I’m sure that part of it is the weather and part of it is hormones, and part of it is my body reminding me that I do suffer from chronic depression that I can’t just wish away. The medication I take helps a lot but is not that strong.

So I didn’t go to see Alice Waters and the Edible Schoolyard inauguration, which I rather regret. I didn’t go to yoga Thursday night and I’m not going this morning. Yesterday I felt like I’d been beat up. My hip is hurting again. I’ve had migraine vision and background headaches. I feel kinda like one of those little roly bugs. Just want to curl up and hide in the darkness when someone comes around. Fortunately, I’m pretty good at hiding it at work, and it’s easy because I have my own office.

Today a friend is coming to my house for the first time to visit, and I hope that it will pick me up some. She’s a mixed-media artist and a farmer and sheep-raiser and we have a lot in common. Her passion right now is wool and needlefelting and so I asked her to bring some work and hang out. Thank god the house has cooled down but it is supposed to rain again. I think that I will lay some cardboard down on the dining room floor and make paper in there.

I didn’t have the root canal, but that’s not to say that it will not still be needed. In a way I wish that I had gone ahead and gotten it over with, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do something that would be expensive and painful when it was not indicated by tests. However, the endodontist said that the nerve is so close to my crown/filling that if the dentist needed to do any more work on it she might require me to get the root canal anyway. So I’m still waiting for the permanent crown, and the plan is to put it on with temporary adhesive “just in case” for up to a year.

In other neurotic fretting, I’ve decided to get a flu shot.

Bleh.

Two things that make me happy: I got my confirmation packet from Teesha for Journalfest this week. It is going to be wonderful, and her information packet is full of beautiful funky art.

And Sandy is taking a week’s vacation the week of Fall Break, which is only two days but still it means that I won’t have class that Monday and we are planning a long weekend in the mountains around Asheville, which is one of my favorite places. I think that I’ve found a cheap motel in Black Mountain that doesn’t have terrible reviews. Sandy and I have stayed in some pretty horrible motels in our day, but we don’t need fancy as long as the room doesn’t smell bad and is clean. Normally we would camp but I don’t think that my body is into it these days.

So I’m really looking forward to this afternoon and tomorrow, and to my October trips. Things really aren’t all that bad - in fact they are pretty doggone good if I can just get my body to believe it.

I have two friends who have recently started blogs. One is Anne-Marie Scott, who led Slow Food Piedmont Triad last year before life got in the way. She started the Locavore Makeover Project, in which she is spending a year mentoring two busy families and teaching them how to prepare healthy whole foods. My dentist is in one of the families! It has gotten a lot of attention in the local newspaper, and more recently by Alice Waters, who was in town this week dedicating the Edible Schoolyard at the Greensboro Children’s Museum. Anne-Marie is looking forward to moving to a new home where she plans to begin urban homesteading.

The other belongs to Charlie Headington, my (and many other’s) muse and friend. He is Mr. Slow Food around here, and founded our local chapter along with Steve Tate, who operates Goat Lady Dairy. Charlie can hardly get through a visit to the Greensboro Curb Farmers’ Market because of all his fans and friends stopping him for conversation! He was my inspiration and guide for the Back Forty, my grad school mentor, a teacher of permaculture, a Slow traveler, a wonderful writer, and a practitioner of voluntary simplicity. I’m thrilled that he finally started a blog, a big step for him: Charlie’s Revolutionary Garden. To read how he describes himself, go to this post. Now, give him some blog love and encourage him to keep it up!

If you’ve been reading this blog you know that deceptive food labeling makes me crazy. I’m going to be lazy and copy this email and link from Food Democracy Now. At some point, Big Food has got to get real.

I just joined Food Democracy Now! in calling on the FDA and USDA to investigate the Smart Choices program, a brainchild of big food companies that labels things like Froot Loops and Lucky Charms a “smart choice” for parents. In an age where childhood obesity is becoming an epidemic, this kind of deceptive labeling has to end. Will you join me and make your voice heard too?

http://action.fooddemocracynow.org/cms/sign/Smart_Choices/

The Smart Choices program was dreamed up by giant food conglomerates like ConAgra, General Mills, Kellogg’s, Kraft, PepsiCo, Tyson Foods and Unilever, together with some industry “experts.” They say its purpose is to help consumers make “smarter food and beverage choices,” but you’ll be surprised to see what they define as a “Smart Choice”: things like Froot Loops®, Keebler Cookie Crunch® and Lucky Charms®.

The new Smart Choices® label, a large, bright green checkmark is a sign of everything that is wrong with food industry driven labeling programs. It’s important that we stand up. Tell the FDA that America’s children are not for $ale – it’s time to end deceptive labeling. It only takes a moment - Take action today!

http://action.fooddemocracynow.org/cms/sign/Smart_Choices/

A papermaker won a MacArthur Genius grant!

I’m killing time before I go to the root canal specialist. I was going to sleep late but Jazz and Lucy took care of that by having a fight on my shoulder. I’m not that nervous because I have decided not to have the root canal. It has been so much better since I did the two rounds of antibiotics. I have a little sensitivity but I think that it is due to the temporary crown.

Now I guess that my next bout of neurotic fretting can be about whether to get a flu shot, since the last (and only) time I got one I passed out for about 10-15 minutes. It would be a damned shame if I had to miss Journalfest because of the flu, and working in a university is like wallowing in a hotbed of germs. I listened to a girl blow her nose for minutes on end in the restroom the other day. I heard her as I left and walked all the way down the hall. Who knows how long it went on because she didn’t seem to be accomplishing much. Students will generally go to class when they are sick and save absences to go to the beach.

Okay, yes, I’m a little nervous about the dentist. But I am not taking a Valium. I’ll take the bottle with me just in case.

Last night I made a perfect little omelet. It seems that I can only make a good omelet if I creep up on it without the conscious decision to make an omelet. I put smoked goat cheese in this one and man, that was good eating. The last eggs that I bought from the farmers market were huge and every one of them so far has been double-yoked. I am spoiled to death on fresh free-range eggs and will never buy caged eggs again if I can help it. The karma and taste is not worth the cost of those sad little eggs.

Okay, I’m going to pace the Back Forty until the skeeters drive me inside now.

I decided what to do with the little bit of Italy money leftover after paying for Journalfest and airfare to Seattle. I bought a small upright freezer so that I can store pulp and papermaking fibers that I gather and cook for times when it is not possible for me to make paper right away. The rest went to supplies. Susanne gave me a paper press and some wooden boards to go with it. I need to buy a small hydraulic jack and…I guess my paper studio will be in good shape! Maybe I’ll get a good drill with a paint-mixing attachment.

Susanne is generously beating pulp for me in her equipment (Hollander beater) until the temperatures get too low to do it, which means I only have a few weeks left. I’ll do some more corn shucks and some cattail and bulrush trimmings from my hatmaking.

Then I’ll start putting more money toward paying off the Honda. I still have $100 a month deposited directly into a money market account that is used just for vacations and art trips. Sandy wants to do a Caribbean cruise - we’ll see!

My creative juices were really flowing in the studio today. Because I tend to work on several pieces at one time and it’s too dark to get good photographs, I’ll post photos later this week.

Finally watched Dirty Dancing last night. Yeah, it was better than I thought it would be. Sandy made a remark about it being a chick flick, and I told him that it wouldn’t hurt men to watch more “chick flicks” because most men could stand to learn a thing or two about romance. So he watched it with me.

Doesn’t look like I’m going to yoga this morning. I slept late and I have things to do this morning. Sleeping late was so wonderful. I moved into the other bedroom around 4 a.m. and so I wasn’t awakened by snoring or cats using me for a pillow or a balance beam. And then, I had the most beautiful dream. The kind of dream where your deepest wishes come true, and even the obstacles in your way end up being laughed off as fun. I won’t bore you with it, because it would only be meaningful to me, but I’m still feeling it deeply. I’ll have to journal it before I lose it completely.

I just found out that my city district has changed to District 3. I don’t even know who my councilperson is now. I guess that it IS helpful to read the local news now and then.

Speaking of the news, I’m very happy that Greensboro College, a small college where I worked for five years, seems to have finally stabilized. It took getting their president to resign, and that brought me a lot of closure because he had hurt my family and so many other people that I knew, directly or indirectly. I always said that I’d fight against him if he dared to run for public office, but he brought himself down, thank God. I’m less and less interested in politics. Now my old boss can get on with his life, since they just found a new interim president.

I need to cover myself with skeeter repellent, rinse out the iris leaves that I cooked last night (has to be done outside), take those to Susanne, and then pick butterbeans. Once my pulp is ready I’ll be making paper this weekend.

I’m sure that I passed the test, but I know that I blew one big slide ID. I hope that the professora is kindly and will note that I at least got the point about the importance of the symbolism in the mosaic. I hate memorizing dates and locations. I can’t remember musicians and titles of songs either, which makes it tough to find songs that I like again. Hey, I did get today’s date right on the front of the blue book.

Right now I am cooking iris leaves in water and soda ash on the stove. Susanne is going to make the pulp for me tomorrow in her Hollander beater.

One of my co-workers brought me a copy of Dirty Dancing because she was appalled that I hadn’t seen it. It came out around the time of my wedding and even if I had had time to watch it we couldn’t afford to go to movies and we didn’t have a VCR. I missed a lot of movies from the 80s for this reason. I was what is referred to now as the “working poor.” I can’t explain why I never watched it after that. I liked Patrick in Ghost but I can’t think of anything else I saw him in. I’m a book person, not a movie person like my husband, who sees everything before I do, either online or at the movies. I think that he’s given up on me and movies, and I can’t blame him.

So if I can get my DVD player to work, I’m going to watch Dirty Dancing tonight. And try to rest my back for papermaking - it has been hurting all day.

Oh yes, I cooked butterbeans and okra with just Liquid Smoke and salt and pepper. So good! And steamed some broccoli from the garden. I think that broccoli is a vegetable that I will give up trying to grow in the Back Forty, or maybe I’ll try it next year as just a fall crop. I planted these in spring and they’ve just taken up space all summer long for a very small harvest. The tomatoes finally hit their peak but I’m still getting a few. This rain will help the rest of the harvest a LOT but I will have to resign myself to wearing mosquito repellant until frost - it is impossible to go out there for more than a couple of minutes without becoming bug lunch.

I’ve spent too much time daydreaming about traveling and art retreats and such and did not get the kind of studying done that I should have for my exam tomorrow. I glanced at the study guide earlier this week and have been rereading the textbook. Now I look at the study guide and I’m supposed to know dates for the slide IDs. Well, now that I think about it, it probably won’t matter that I didn’t study longer because either they’ll stick or they won’t. It’s hard to believe that I ever thought I’d become an actress because I can’t memorize worth a crap.

Anyway, I left my class notes at the office, and it’s too late to get them, so I hope that studying them during my lunch break before class will be enough.

This is why I have recurring school nightmares. I’ve never left it.

It’ll be fine - a bad grade for me personally would be a B, but as long as I pass the course that will be enough for what I want to accomplish.

Yesterday in class I was miserably sleepy, the kind of sleepy when you are desperately trying not to fall asleep. I wrote notes and scribbled constantly to try to stay awake, and I fell asleep while I was still writing. It’s not legible, but it was so funny when I saw it that I woke up enough to make it to the end of class.

Eh, architecture and dates aren’t my thing. I like the other parts, like the cultural, political, and religious history. But show me an apse and my eyes will start to glaze over. I knew this, yet I registered for this class anyway.

Maybe a D won’t be so bad. Gotta go memorize some dates now.